October 16, 2008

Karva Chauth Tomorrow

Update 6th Oct 09:
Karva Chauth will be celebrated tomorrow i.e. 7th October(for 2009 click) with the women folk getting ready for their fast with ‘Sargi’ in the wee hours.

Inescapably, memories go back to childhood years when this tradition meant getting up at 4.00 in the morning to see my dear mother resplendent in her “gota-kinara’ dupatta with a big red bindi and hands lush with  deep happy mehndi. Never has the memory of that color faded. Never has it been replicated by the million mehndi walis who designed my palms and feet, Some things I guess are the love of your mother.

My mother passed away last year. I miss her so much today. Her blessings , her instructions her joie de vivre especially on this day. There was nothing as important in her life besides my father. Every moment was as  if a prayer in his devotion. This day was so special for her.  Our dining table even at that early morning hour when we awoke for ‘sargi’ was laden with parathas, aloo gobi sabzi, mithai, fruits, namkeen, coconut, paan,curd. We all merrily gobbled away although it was she who was fasting.

Why are memories always so bright and luminiscent? Why does the present always seem so dull and lusterless in comparison? Was it just the presence of unconditional love that radiated from her every pore that has transformed a simple ceremony of the kind into something that seems to hold another meaning ..not just the ceremonial, but the truth that a mothers love is what life is all about.

I have inherited her love for this custom and love to follow it just as she had. Perhaps my way of paying homage to her while respecting the sentiment behind this custom..for the everlasting life and love of your husband. Women fast, paraying to ‘Gauri Mata’ just so that she may bless the husbands with longevity and good health.

I am happy but tears just dont seem to stop flowing . Its as if they have a will of their own. Mamas blessings were so important, her presence so comforting, her innocent abiding by this tradition sans questions or doubts so endearing. She just believed..that is it. Garlanding my father before she began the fast and at night wouldnt take a drop of water without touching his feet and taking his blessings.  Papa reciprocated with as much love, laughter, humor and reverence .

He personally kept a vigil up for the moon and impatiently strolled on the terrace , waiting for a glimpse so that she could break her fast. The moon rarely ever made an early appearance much like the star of the evening. It almost has to be cajoled into bestowing us with its presence. So we kids were sent of to different areas of the house, terrace, balcony to herald its arrival, while he busied himself with personally preparing the ‘shikanjavi’ lemon water ,with which she would break her fast.

Karva Chauth doesnt seem the same for me now. Its horrible I know to color such an auspicious occasion with sadness. But there is this deep sorrow, this memory which only seems to get stronger, just keeps coming back with regularity..a picture so deeply embedded of my mother, embodying the ‘vrat/ in its true meaning, as if a ‘devi’ teaching us all what it means to love, and respect your husband, what the real connotation of Karva Chauth is.

My mother ever smiling in her decorated dupatta, with mehdi on her palms and face glowing with contentment , adoringly looking at my father, in no hurry to break her fast, is for me ‘ Karva Chauth”. Fervently hope I have been successful, even if a wee bit in inculcating the same in my daughter..Thank You Ma!!

PS: Perhaps my mothers and mother-in-laws blessings that help..(And yes my ma in law is absolutely divine) hubby dear keeps a fast with strictly.. without water..Bless him!

And if interested in a True Love story? Read this..Karva Chauth is going to be celebrated tomorrow . Women folk will awaken in the wee hours. hopefully with husba


  1. Simply loved this Kaveetaa..heart wrenching. God bless you!! All the best for tomorrow.

    Comment by Jatin Lall — October 16, 2008 @ 7:52 pm | Reply

  2. Ever since moving to Albuquerque and having a Hindu community to belong to, I have taken up doing Karva chauth for my American husband. It has brought him much luck and good fortune for which I am thankful. I also love the ocmmunity of women I sit and do the puja with– some are very open to my American husband and one or two not so…I have written a couple Karva chauth poems about the keeping of this festival here in the southwestern U.S.

    Comment by Feroza Jussawalla — October 17, 2008 @ 8:23 am | Reply

  3. My mom is 78 yrs old and she fasted all of her life for my dad, and did all the things you described in here, getting up before 4, preparing all the dishes and then our dad would wake us all up for eating together – around 5:30ish. Even until last year, my mom dressed up with a very heavy zari suit and had mehendi on her hands which was always darker on her hands than on mine.. but earlier this year, our dad passed away suddenly and life hasn’t been the same for her since. I am worried about her loneliness as she hasn’t known her life without our dad. So I can understand what you might be going through. But as they say, your mom is looking down on you from heaven and will be smiling when she sees you looking pretty and celebrating. wishing you the best

    Comment by kavita — October 17, 2008 @ 8:44 am | Reply

  4. Thanks a ton Jatin ji.You are kind.

    Feroza it was so wonderful to read your comment. It is also so heartening to note that keeping this vrat has brought on good fortune for your husband. Finally it is the sentiment, emotion, devotion and faith in you that makes for the mracle Feroza. Customs and traditions are merely crutches that help us get closer to the One. Not only do they symbolise the divinity that is our Guardian but in a way also remind us of the divinity we embody. Why dont you share your poems with us? I would love to experience your emotions for the ritual which is alien to you and yet been embraced so wholeheartedly.

    Also would like to add that those who dont accept your husband reflect their narrow mindednesss while being ignorant of your open mindedness in not just marrying an American but also adopting a hindu custom.

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — October 18, 2008 @ 5:37 pm | Reply

  5. namesake..Your comment reminds me so much of my mom as well. Did you read the link to the “Love Story” at the end of my post? It speaks of the love of my parents which was so rare and which i experienced first hand. It also mentions and elaborates on the 2and a half years my mother spent without my father on earth. Do read may give your strength..I understand your state of mind. Pain binds like no joy can..much love.

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — October 18, 2008 @ 5:41 pm | Reply

  6. Kaveetaa ji,

    Why only wives ? Husbands should also keep and join the KARWA CHOUTH fast for wife’s well being and long happy healthy life.This will create more affection,love and care between both of them.

    Comment by Anand Berry — October 19, 2008 @ 12:40 pm | Reply

  7. Agree wholeheartedly Anand. This seems to be the trend.

    For your perusal:

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — October 19, 2008 @ 1:14 pm | Reply

  8. Hi,

    Sorry cldn’t locate a contact form here. I invite you and your readers to

    To register as a publisher go here:

    We look forward to working with you.

    Comment by Navneet Jadhav — October 21, 2008 @ 5:27 pm | Reply

  9. Kaveetaa ji,

    I think that a husband who is fully loyal and devoted for his wife should only expect a holy Karva Chauth fast from his wife.
    But as you see there are many SAANDs moving loose here and there, like –

    UJJWALA fame NARAYAN DUTT TIWARI etc etc and many more.

    Do you believe they deserve to be worshipped for KARWA CHAUTH fast ?

    Comment by Anand Berry — October 24, 2008 @ 10:42 pm | Reply

  10. Hi
    Read the fond memories of your childhood spent under the shadow of the love of parents whose existence is inseparable even though they may not be physically with us and if the childhood memories are beautiful full of love , sheltered where we had spent our toddling years under their care,affection warmth, even now when we are reaching our —– we miss them and want our lives to reverse so that we lie cuddled in their lap away from the world .Parents have always been an unknown strength to their children we only realize this when they are no longer with us.We miss them when we have no one to turn to even after having our own families we always miss our parents for every important decision we have to take for ex i may not listen to my mom but anything important, she is the first to know my plans,my fingers move to dial her no first, so that she is aware of the things going on in my life. In the first week of Nov I m going to see my kids. Bye .

    Comment by kausar.feroz — October 31, 2008 @ 9:54 am | Reply

  11. Anand I agree with you and cans sense your angst at the unfairness of witnessing a woman who piously fasts for her husband while he may be wholly undeserved of it. i wonder what these women must be going through. Do they feel the pangs of hunger and thirst more harshly since love is missing? Do they then inwardly curse the custom and follow it only as a matter of putting up a pretense? I guess we will never know.

    What I do know for sure however is that a man needs the prayers and well wishes of his wife to get anywhere in the world. If he has failed to evoke that sentiment of well being from her innermost core, then he is in fact the most unlucky of men in the world. the loss may be hers but is greatly his as well.

    Sita ram, Shiv Shakti, are names taken together since one is incomplete without the other. if there are men, and yes there are plenty who uncaringly ignore this truth then they will have to face the consequences. There is no escaping it.

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — November 1, 2008 @ 1:41 pm | Reply

  12. Hi Kausar.. so good to hear from you. ( friends, Kausar is my school pal..known her since we were in frocks). I am so glad that you are regularly in touch with your mom. You are a sensitive soul though few know of it. Who else but you can rightly gage the feelings in my post. You have met my parents and seen us together…speak to you soon..


    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — November 1, 2008 @ 1:44 pm | Reply

  13. […] More Leave a Comment […]

    Pingback by KarvaChauth 2009 « Sachiniti — October 6, 2009 @ 11:26 am | Reply

  14. Happy Karva Chauth Wishes

    Watch this video

    Comment by Sneha — October 14, 2011 @ 7:37 pm | Reply

  15. thank you for this beautiful post; As I celebrate my Karwa Chauth, I miss my mom most of all! She lives in a different state, but of course has been calling since early this morning to ensure that my sargi, fasting and getting dressed and ready for puja is in good order. Thank you and bless you!

    Comment by Dee — October 16, 2011 @ 4:18 am | Reply

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