April 6, 2006

Bloggers Can !!!!

Filed under: opinions,personal,Random,This Gets To Me — Kaveeta Oberoi Kaul @ 12:25 pm
Tags: ,

What I have observed as a constituent of blogging mentality, is the urge to be Rude at the slightest provocation. It has puzzled and perplexed me.

Rarely does one take these insanely inane statements seems so tiresome. But often for those more sensitive and refined it seems uncalled for and uncouth. One has two options then. Either wanting to hit back with the same intensity or logically battle it out, which is oh! so tedious and dreary, especially since the thought at the back of the head is a nagging doubt at the effectiveness of an intelligent debate with someone who has decided to be obnoxious or is possessively holding on to his/her views with every breath of passionate life.

Some are born different, some achieve it with their unique pattern of thinking and others..well would rather shove it down our throats. The need to be heard , especially when the content of the words is hardly worthy, is so pre-dominant, that the resorting to extreme speech and usage of atrocious language is the quickest and easiest route.

For such, the difference between being successful and being notorious is non-existent I suppose.

On being outlandishly ridiculous, there are plenty of these around. Their mantra is simple. Sexual innuendoes, spiced with outrageous affirmations,laced with hypocritical freedom of expression enough to dazzle, beguile and numb into temporary hypnosis. And Voila!! a brigade will follow, impressed with the dare-to-be-bare-stance, hungrily awaiting more.

Needless to add the text shorn of these trappings would be inane and trivial.

How can we ignore the variety who come here to be ‘entertained’ and unleash a whorl of dastardly comments on all n sundry ..They are the ones with the frustrated careers, frustrated spouses and frustrated physicality. What better avenue than the blogosphere to sit back and hit out in complete anonymity and in the safety of your own space. Not difficult to believe that in a real life situation these would be the cowards nearest to the exit.

One wishes however that those who choose to offend with rudeness, aggressiveness and boorishness, would realise that they aint fooling no one. Gee, wouldnt we love to hurl them into outer space instead!!

It takes all kinds to make a world but there are some who need to make a world of their own !!

To gain a comprehensive view of the contention, reading of the comments section is recommended. It will throw further light on the slant of the article.


  1. Even I have tried to be rude while on blog , or more importantly in my virtual life. I dont know the exact reasons for that but I think they could possibly be be …
    1. The sadistic pleasure associated with the response you get after the pinch.
    2. Its the safest place to vent your frustration , if you dont have the courage to do in the real world…I mean its the safest place to do that..
    3. You dont need to react impulsively…so the cynical remarks could be well thought off and highly caustic
    4. Sure sex in some way is a reason, cause I like picking up blogs written by females…

    I hope I am commenting at the right place and in the right context

    Comment by lost — April 6, 2006 @ 1:33 pm | Reply

  2. I believe in giving it back.. as good as I can.. why should I not say my bit if the other person wants to be rude? Rudeness begets rudeness

    Comment by Neha — April 6, 2006 @ 1:50 pm | Reply

  3. Lost,

    Your reason 4 is shameful..what are you? Nuts? Even picking on women in blogs is good enough for u?
    Height of frustration..
    What kaveetaa wrote really applies to you. Some people should go and make a world of their own.
    As if eve teasing and rape in the real world was not enough!!
    This is crazy.

    Comment by Anonymous — April 6, 2006 @ 2:30 pm | Reply

  4. Lost , i am glad you are honest
    and i am also somewhat rude about and immature sometimes when i am commenting on something taht makes me angry

    and tell me about intolerance, i also wrote a post on blog athon around 8th march and some morons decided to tell me in the name of pariwar ki suraksha and to save indian children some crappy analogical logic about young indian women being like surpanakha
    and to react to that i wrote a post about what was NOT wrong with surpanakha and why i believe in her
    and i got 40 rude and really irrelvant comments on that post in 2 hours
    apparently my post was mailed in a yahoo group to 200 people and they were urged to spaek about me on my blog
    i guess i am a coward…i removed that post to save my inbox…
    and i didn’t want to make every thing that i utter an issue
    i am sorry about my cowardice
    and very angry about the fascism which has enterred the blogspehere too now

    Comment by silbil — April 6, 2006 @ 2:34 pm | Reply

  5. Lost,

    Appreciate your honesty.. but would suggest you work on your instincts a bit..Clause 4 needs handling, I will agree with anonymous there.

    Going by the fact that you are capable of being an aware person, anaytical and real, you will grow as a human being faster than you can imagine. This is my reading.

    Please refer to this link..I have been bombarded with the same..Disallowed here but on desicritics my article was hugely spammed.In fact I believe made some kind of a record, etc..Though my drift was entirely different and needed serious reflection.

    Don’t let it get to you.. There are quite a few of us who have been singled out. If they have a point to make, I wish they would do it in a civilised manner instead of overwhelming us with tirades. It defeats the purpose.

    BTW, appreciate your candidness as well.. keep it up.

    My intention on writing this piece was to draw attention to an unhealthy pattern of behaviour and a subtle urge to rectify what can otherwise be a fulfilling experience.

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — April 6, 2006 @ 2:49 pm | Reply

  6. Kaveeta,

    There have been times when I have spent nights crying over what someone has written. Mostly it is a wrong name under which they write or when they cannot win an argument.I have become thick skinned now and realised that it is their own frustration they are exposing.

    I dont care a damn now and pity those who use this medium to make an ass of themselves.

    Comment by Puja — April 6, 2006 @ 4:29 pm | Reply

  7. A blog for me should be a place where I record the events of my life and the way they may have affected me, what makes me think, and anything else I find relevant to my existence. As such, I may write about anything and anyone I see fit. I can write about what a jerk I am, I can post your notes to me and dissect them if I want to, and so on. No one can tell me what I can and can’t write about. If, somewhere along the way I happen to display “writing genius”, then all the better.
    -HOWEVER-The fact that I knowingly post those thoughts in a public forum for anyone to read makes me a fair game for review. I would lock my diary if I don’t want creeps and critics thumbing through it with their sticky hands and bad-grammar-pointing-out-fingers. I won’t get pissed if you don’t agree with me, or that you think that I am a big shithead. I think your point will be better taken if you had leave your name, but I welcome all criticism.

    Comment by Chameleon's Karma — April 7, 2006 @ 9:34 am | Reply

  8. Control, is the name of the game.

    People, whom use their intelligence, wit or charm; to demean or demoralize another human being; for any reason, has serious social-malfunctioning..and what a shame, for intelligence to be “wasted” on such a control-freak that would use their gifts that way.

    As in any form of human, social abuse; the internet has become a police-free social gathering place; perhaps, the first in history, of its kind?

    WE must all, stand, in unity; against any form of human and social abuse.

    I asked a man once, why men often resorted to sexual, or perverse conversations with women? He said, it was b/c sometimes men, feel intimidated..and sex, is what men, “do.”

    Oh that all, they do?



    Comment by North — April 7, 2006 @ 9:46 am | Reply

  9. Chamaleon(Ck)

    I think you have missed the contention here.

    you said” The fact that I knowingly post those thoughts in a public forum for anyone to read makes me a fair game for review.”

    A review, critique, analysis, dissection, welcome. Albeit with courtesy, kindness and integrity. What often happens is that when emotions take over, abuse sets in and before long the original issue is lost in the hopeless calling of names and personal attacks.

    This was the drift of my article. If I were to exemplify, then I could have opted to instead converse with you in a manner which is distasteful and will put you on the offensive immediately. Like” So Chamelon, consider yourself some kind of a dude eh? But you know what you are so empty in the top floor that you might float if put in a string.. your kind of reasoning is bull..” and so on .. Liked it? Would you love a barrage of these on your mail? They contribute in no way to the argument ,ineither constructively offering a pov or a valid negation.

    the thumb rule for me is that on my blog, I’d rather converse with commenters as if they were at my home. I would refrain from saying anything I wouldn’t normally were I face to face. On anothers blog, the same principle applies. Treat another as well as you would socially.

    By virtue of a piece of writing being on an open forum, opens it to review. But whether you consider it an invitation to freely abuse and validify it , is a subjective decision. I would not.

    Blogging to me is an exercise to share and grow. a give and take in an atmosphere of mutual regard and respect. Not a forum to vent.

    North, I do agree. There are control freaks. To deal with the patiently is an alternative. Not that it works , in all cases. But atleast you have done what you consider worthy of putting your name behind it.

    Like you said, any form of social or human abuse, has to be resisted.

    ‘Lost’s revelations are an eye opener. So atleast the men know that the women are not imagining these occurrences.


    Experiences should help us become ‘better’not ‘bitter’..keep it up. You will slowly begin to realise that dealing with all kinds is what life is about. It definitely does not mean that you take misbehaviour, but that you know how and when to say “NO”

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — April 7, 2006 @ 2:33 pm | Reply

  10. I agree with you completely Kaveeta.. However, I just ignore those anal comments… ‘Cos I reckon that the only reason why some folks put them out there is to deliberately provoke you to stoop down to their imbecilic (is that the right spelling) level. I refuse to engage such folks in any manner whatsoever. Everytime I come across such comments on my blogs and on others’, I have just one thought – “Go get yourself a life, dude!!”

    Comment by Chameleon's Karma — April 7, 2006 @ 2:45 pm | Reply

  11. Hmm ck,

    That was my point..Go get yourself a life dudes/dudesses.

    While you are at it, why not try outer space:)

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — April 7, 2006 @ 3:47 pm | Reply

  12. Have you noticed they are also the quickest to burn out? They get so exhausted with their games, that after a while they just fizzle.

    Comment by Anonymous — April 7, 2006 @ 10:59 pm | Reply

  13. i hope this piece is not aimed at me… and our nice lil encounters on RDb! and violence as a justified action in some cases….
    anyways… i leave it off after sometimes.. because in any case to draw logical conclusions u need to have some assumptiona and we all differ in the assumptions we make

    I, for one, Have never ever been rude, sexual, mathlabi or boorish in my arguments.

    Comment by laks — April 11, 2006 @ 9:20 am | Reply

  14. Anonymous,

    passion is rarely long lasting..good point though.

    Hey laks,

    relax..I am an Aries ..forgive and forget easily..This was not meant at you at you are none of those you mention above..just a wee bit stubborn sometimes:)

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — April 11, 2006 @ 10:08 am | Reply

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