June 29, 2006


Filed under: Ahem Ahem cough cough,personal — Kaveeta Oberoi Kaul @ 1:24 pm

To look upon life as a friend which has stood you in good stead, backing you on the ‘ups’ and supporting you on the ‘downs, has its advantages. It never fails to provide you with reason to reinforce your faith in the truism of this tangibly elusive affirmation.

On my way to work and in between deadlines received this mail, by this truly amazing writer..Swati,informing me of my story, sent a while back, published on the NDTV website,by process of elimination

Hi Kaveetha,

Just a quick one to let you know that I was overwhelmed by your composition
eulogizing your dad. I lost my father in Nov 2000, quite unexpectedly as
well and I was in Delhi then completing my Grad. But i do remember that car
journey to dehradoon where I knew I’d have to go and face the inevitable and
pinching myself hard every few minutes hoping as hell that this would be a

Life’s amazing isnt it. We all think our parents will be there forever and
you feel almost embarrased of being robbed of them. It feels like God’s put
you in the naughty corner and all eyes are on you feeling sorry.

Your writing is brilliant and I felt like you were putting in words what i
feel when I see my mum being brave for us two girls.

I pray for your Dad and am sure he’d be very proud of you. Here’s wishing
your mum and yourself alll the best for the future.

Warm wishes,

Thanks Swati..There is nothing more fulfilling than the sound of your echo resounding in anothers’ heart.

The pain of losing a parent was brilliantly put in her words.. “It feels like God’s put you in the naughty corner and all eyes are on you feeling sorry.”

Story published on NDTV


  1. kaveeta,
    that was Really nice!! You write from deep within your soul which touches hearts.Keep writing.

    Comment by Neha — June 29, 2006 @ 3:00 pm | Reply

  2. A story sublimated in the ocean of LOVE… disappearing…..vanishing….as the Shivlinga of Amarnath….melting under the heat of human sins…….preserve this urgently….its rare….

    Comment by Anonymous — June 29, 2006 @ 3:48 pm | Reply

  3. It is ironical that when my dad was alive, I never told him that I loved him. When he was on life support systems in the hospital, I still couldn’t tell him how much I loved him. And even though I knew that the end was near, I still remember how the shock hit me when the doc called me and told me that he had passed away. I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. I had things to organize – besides appearing to be brave in front of my mother.

    When I think back, I realize, that I was never really close to my father. Yet, even now, more than two years since he’s been gone, I miss him. I remember how on the eve of my 18th birthday, he had given me two gifts and the only lecture that I ever got from him. It was a motorcycle and a ticket on Pan Am to New York via Frankfurt & London. He said; “ Son, tomorrow you turn 18 and will legally be an adult. Till now, I have led your life for you.. I have held your hand and helped you whether you needed it or not. I have taken all your decisions but from tomorrow onwards, you will be making all your decisions. I will not force any decisions on you but whenever you find yourself in a quandary, feel free to ask me for advice. I will give it to you BUT you will have to take your own decisions. However, if you ever realize that you have taken the wrong decision, don’t let your ego come in the way of you admitting it to me. If I can help you, I will and I promise that I will never tell you that I told you so.”
    He was true to his word. I did take many a wrong decision, against his advice. He would see me battle out my troubles, yet he never interfered unless I asked him too. And the few times that I did manage to swallow my pride and ask him for help, he came in with all guns blazing. And never said “I told you so”. When I went bankrupt at 33, he was the only one I could turn to and he held my hand again. Helped me start life from a scratch all over again. Today at 42, I sometimes still wish that I could be 17 all over again so that he could take control of my life all over again and leave me completely free to just enjoy my life. I loved you Dad… and I still do. Wish you were here.

    Comment by Chameleon's Karma — June 30, 2006 @ 9:57 am | Reply

  4. CK that was lovely!
    a hug for you

    Comment by silbil — June 30, 2006 @ 10:28 am | Reply

  5. dunno why.. but i have never told him.. showed also, that i love him.. maybe its so intrinsic, that its never had to try… but sometimes i have really wanted to.. but simply could not..

    @ kavita & ck… just wonderful the way u have expressed something.. that is just.. ‘beyond words.. beyond lines’.. a lovely post!

    Comment by der Bergwind — June 30, 2006 @ 10:44 am | Reply

  6. My mom was divorced form my dad when I was five. We shifted to Australia and then to singapore. Neither did my dad bother to keep in touch nor was i interested in having to do anything with someone who had been physically assaulting my mom. Since i am an only child, mom has been a great friend and never made me feel the lack of anything. About 9 years ago,someone came into her life who i knew would be just right for her. She did not want to commit, but i insisted. She deserved a second chance. And now we are all together. My new dad or “dadda” as i like to call him is a delight as a father and a husband for my mom. It could not have been better. ofcourse there is a pain somewhere that my real dad has not in all these years made any effort to get in touch. Not that i miss him or anything, its just the feeling of being rootless at times..rarely, but sometimes. I am very close to my family and share a great raport with them.
    What I have read in Kavetas post and then cks has made me realise that I need to be more present and ‘there’ for them. I am very shaken right now. never thought would write of this.But I am glad i did…surrounded by friends, i hope.

    Comment by puja — June 30, 2006 @ 12:00 pm | Reply

  7. Neha,
    Not all beings resonate to the sound of a violin in exactly the same way. We touch a chord in each depending on how finely tuned we are to receiving vibrations, energies from the other. So if somebody finds my words heartfelt it is an evidence of their capacity to sensitise to it as well. Another can safely skim over and be nonchalant. Finally we attract those who speak our language, metaphorically speaking. Infact dont feel the need for words should be more like it. I must thank you for the pillar of strength you have been. God bless..

    Anonymous.. Your words are very highly appreciated. The kernel of truth is unmistakable. About the shivlinga, I am quite shocked at this rather obvious exemplification of rigging and playing around with sentiments and the icon.


    Its touching.. your story.Men normally find it difficult to betray emotion.I wish these stereotypes would disappear forever.

    Der, seem an erudite and very informed young fella who has his heart in the right place. I am sure you will make the required effort, go that extra mile which will put a smile on your fathers face and a song in his heart:)

    You have put so simply the truly valiant gesture on your part of convincing you mother to find happiness one more time. Its not difficult to imagine that had it not been for your support she might have hesitated, delayed and finally given up the idea totally. I admire your guts, love for her and selflessness displayed.

    You have been very severely criticised for the use of ‘language’, judged by others on their scale of right and wrong and propriety of action. I have also deleted a couple of your posts, but you never once brought it up, trusting my decision I presume…Thanks.

    All I would like to say to you is in the form of a couplet sung by Jagjit singh.. I dont know if you have heard it..Please do try to.

    “Moonh ki baat sunne har koi,
    Dil ke dard ko jaane kaun,
    Awaazon ke bazaaron mein,
    khamoshi pehchaane kaun”

    You have felt my pain as much and now I find myself as if imbibing yours.
    Carry on with truth . Watch your words, love.. for this is all the world hears.. try not to hurt another.. for your words have life.. and that is all that beats..who has the time to hear the beat of a heart?

    I am sure your mothers blessings and love for you will take you far..It always does.. Not just our parents, but kindness shown to another living creature, never goes unaccounted for in HIS ledger.

    Love to all of you who have written here..truly appreciated.

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — June 30, 2006 @ 3:22 pm | Reply

  8. since i have been rather vocal and generous with my critical of someone’s words may i also shout a sorry loudly here…
    and also that your comment touched my heart…
    ya ya ya to that prayer(hindi translation required) only who thinks i am confused…
    that required guts and yet a big heart to share it here…
    maybe it’s high time you started your own blog too…

    silbil in an uncharacteristically squeaky voice * i will not comment there and will only read*

    Comment by silbil — June 30, 2006 @ 4:05 pm | Reply

  9. Gosh K you have got me all weepy was sooo caring of you..And as for the rest, I’d do it again…anytime. I dont take kindly to disrespect of women in particular, especially by brattish immature upstarts who recognise themselves only in loud mouthed bullying.. It was totally uncalled for and in war there are no rules…Better stop here or…Any ways I looooved the shairi..i understood it purrfectly and will locate the album.

    No harm done. It was just one of those times..passions were flying high and all that..As for blogging.. I will some day ..right now if I were to it’d be like once a month.. so wheres the point..But no sorrys needed luv…alls good..u are sweet:)

    felt good after having got it all out.

    Comment by puja — June 30, 2006 @ 6:53 pm | Reply

  10. time i told dad he is important- so so important, despite all his irritating antics.
    very moving.

    Comment by Dim Poetry — June 30, 2006 @ 10:04 pm | Reply

  11. Hmmm..time you did:)

    Comment by Kaveetaa Kaul — July 2, 2006 @ 4:18 pm | Reply

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